It doesn't matter whether your breakup came as a surprise or not, you will probably still have hurt feelings, not to mention lots of questions. Perhaps you are sitting alone wondering exactly what went wrong. Here are 9 things that can help you heal your broken heart!
- Take some time to reflect on the relationship. This can be painful, but it is necessary. You do not want to make the same mistakes over again in your next relationship.
Resist the urge to call your ex and beg him or her to come back. You may want to make an apology call and ask if there is any way to make things work. If you do this, make the call short and sweet. Take an honest look at your relationship. Think about the good and the bad things that happened. You may come to realize that the breakup may actually not be a bad thing. Of course, it may take some time to work your way to that conclusion. Work through your anger and sadness in a positive way. Whatever you do, don't spend your time looking through photo albums or drinking to excess. Instead, you may want to go to the gym and workout. Perhaps you want to take a class or go out with your friends or family. All of these things can help the healing process. In the beginning, avoid the places where you and your ex used to go or hang out. The reality is that you are just hoping to see your ex when you do this. This is true even if you deny it. While you may think that seeing your ex is a good thing, it really isn't. Chances are she won't come running across the room begging you to take her back. This is true even if you show up wearing that cologne that she claimed she used to like. When you do things like this, you are just announcing how desperate you really are. Resist the urge to do this and eventually the urge will pass. Stay busy. Staying busy is one of the best ways to help your hurting heart. When you are busy, you won't have time to think about your ex or about the breakup. Give yourself time. It takes time to get over a breakup, especially if you and your ex were in a relationship for a long time. Allow yourself that time and don't have unrealistic expectations. Get some counseling. If you are really having problems getting over your relationship, you may want to get some counseling. A counselor can help you to work through your feelings and accept the reality of your situation. If a counselor feels that you are excessively depressed, he or she may recommend that you take depression medicine for a while. Work on your emotional health and move forward with your life. Don't sit around waiting for your ex to come to their senses and apologize. This may never happen. In time, you may come to realize that the breakup was really a blessing in disguise. After all, it means that you are now free to find a better partner.
No matter how bad you think your relationship is, take some salvation in knowing that love is rarely the reason that relationships crumble. Take baby steps to get you from break up to make up, and re-bond. Don't try to take too big a step and patch things up all at once. That's too much, too fast. Take small steps. Sometimes even small steps is too much at the current time.
In fact, many times, taking a step 'back' is the best course of action. Click here for our free Get My Ex Back mini-series newsletter and also get a copy of my book "Tips to Save Your Marriage" (free for a limited time). You'll also get access to a video that explains the re-bonding process in more details.
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