These days, there is very little effort needed in order to end a relationship – even a legal marriage. Often, all that is required is a little bit of paperwork and a visit to the courthouse. This sad reality likely contributes to many folks ending their marriages before they really try to save them. If you are considering divorce, it’s absolutely imperative that you take some time and try to reclaim a healthy marriage, or get my ex back, depending on your situation. Though the process is simple, ending a marriage is not a decision that should be taken lightly.
There is no one pattern that leads to the end of a marriage – indeed, there are as many different processes as there are unique couples out there. Whether your marriage consists of loud fighting, passive aggressive barbs, or complete avoidance, you’ll need to find a safe means of communicating with one another if you wish to save marriage. Without communication, there can be no reconcilliation. In this regard, those couples who are confortable fighting may have an advantage over those who avoid their issues altogether.
These silent partners may need to learn to embrace conflict before they can resolve their issues.
Are we suggesting that verbal abuse and inflicting emotional pain is an appropriate means of reclaiming a healthy marriage? Of course not. What we are suggesting is that the ability to express our needs and concerns without fear of reprisal, and the ability to objectively consider the needs of our partner is very important to reclaiming a healthy marriage, a position backed up by Love Lab researcher, Dr. John Gottman. Avoidance of problems is a major contributor to failed relationships.
If communication is key in attempting to reclaim a healthy marriage, learning to communicate clearly and without fear is important. To that end, here are some helpful tips to help you to work on your marriage:
Set aside time. As our lives and relationships develop, it’s pretty common for a couple’s focus on one another to be overtaken by professional, family, and personal concerns. Key to your efforts to reclaim a healthy marriage is setting aside time to be together, to share experiences, and to talk. Even if you just set aside one night every week to play a board game, it’s time not filled with kids, television, bills, and other distractions.
Start listening. It’s pretty phenomenal how easily we allow our partner’s thoughts and opinions fade into the background, and fail to really listen. By putting down the magazine, shutting off the TV, or unplugging while our partner speaks, we gain valuable insight into their lives, while letting them know that we value what they have to say.
Don’t make assumptions. Is your partner behaving in a withdrawn manner? Is it pretty clear that something’s bothering them? Don’t assume that you’re the problem and start fighting before you understand what’s really happening. Maybe someone at work rubbed them the wrong way, or maybe they just need a few minutes of quiet time to regroup. Regardless, assumptions can spell big trouble. Work to get to the real heart of the matter and work from there.
Take a walk in their shoes. Particularly when both partners work full time and have active lives, it can seem like some married couples are just two ships passing in the night. Make a point of knowing what’s going on in your partner’s life at work and with their family and friends. Plugging into their life outside of your shared time will help you to anticipate their hectic times, and head off friction before it starts.
Leave your judgement at the door. Folks process information and stress in different ways. One person may need to blow off steam by heading out to party with friends, while another person may recharge by curling up in a quiet room with a good book. You partner’s needs may not be in step with your own in every case. By listenting to their needs and concerns, and not judging or criticizing what they have to say, you’ll be well on your way to save my marriage.
Honesty really is the best policy. Don’t suffer in silence. If you have needs or concerns that you feel are detracting from your life and relationship, it’s absolutely critical that you find a safe and constructive way to express them to your partner. When you begin honestly expressing your thoughts, you’ll begin reclaiming a healthy marriage.
Marriage isn’t easy – no one’s claiming that it is. If you honestly want to work to reclaim a healthy marriage, though, it may not be too late. Conflict may come along with communication, and can be very difficult for some to manage, butit’s a step in the right direction. Don’t be afraid to rely on the skills of an expert to help you through this difficult but worthwhile process.
Relationships can be difficult at times, and something that you must continually work on both individually and as a couple. However, just as they can be challenging, remember that they can also be very rewarding. Download my free ebook and videos, and discover the steps you need to take to help get my ex back. If you use these resources, I think you’ll see that they’ll help you to Get Husband Back.
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